Trash Neighbour (Me)

If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then mine could probably do with a bit of a wash. You see, for the past year or so I’ve been secretly chucking my green waste over the back fence into my neighbour’s jungle of a yard, thinking they wouldn’t notice. Well, this weekend they confronted me about it, saying that they’d known all along and have had enough of the various invasive plants that keep popping up in their food.


How was I to know that they’re running a highly curated operation back there? Now I’m kind of ashamed to show my face to the neighbours, but there’s not much I can do to avoid them short of staying inside and investing in some serious window frosting. Melbourne residents, have you had neighbourly interactions of this nature? They’re so smug over there, with their rooftop solar, film camera collection and paleo coffee.


There was a situation kind of like this at the office one time. Pierre from accounts thought he could get away with sneaking yoghurts from the fridge, even though he sort of knew they were Belinda’s. He was doing this for about two months before Belinda came out with it and asked him to stop.


There was a bit of awkwardness after this, in large part because Belinda had waited so long to say something, although she shouldn’t really have had to. Again, there wasn’t much that could be done by Pierre to block out the harsh rays of judgement from HR, beyond lobbying for office tinting services to be engaged, thereby creating an impervious partition between departments. Obviously, neither of these situations are a very big deal; in fact they’re pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. It’s just a case of the way people look at you differently when they know you’ve been up to something at their expense, and they know that you know. Their gaze takes on distinct notes of disdain and pity. And the worst thing about it is that you’ve brought it upon yourself, knowing full well what you were doing the whole time.

Making Light Work of Renovations

It seems that buying a first house that’s cheap enough to have the stamp duty waived is possible, after all. Success! Turns out, though, that the dollars saved there must immediately be directed into renovations – either that, or one must deal with a somewhat depressing amenities situation. At least, that appears to be true in my case. 

Never mind – I’m fortunate enough to have the spare cash lying around after mortgage repayments. Plus, it gives me the option of finally having the bathroom of my dreams, which is essentially just one that features a bath. But I wouldn’t say no to a glass shower screen and rainfall-style shower head, plus a well-lit mirror.

From the sounds of that, I’m going to have to hook myself up some residential glazing services, along with a designer and builder. No matter – I can put them to work on a glass splashback for the kitchen, too, seeing as that’s also in need of a serious reboot. Oh man, that stove is just terrible. But it’s going to be so good!

While I’m at it… what are your thoughts on glass staircase balustrades, Melbourne? Will they make my home look too much like an office, or will they create a sense of openness and light? In any case, they’d have to be an improvement on the current excuse for a handrail – a wiry affair that looks like it was designed to be temporary.

Honestly, I’m not complaining. This house has many great things going for it, which is why I decided to buy it. For starters, it’s structurally sound, and the location is to die for. Ultimately, though, it’s all about the light – the place is perfectly positioned to catch it at just the right angles. Once I’m able to get started on the garden, that feature is really going to come into its own. I’m thinking a glass solar dome and maybe even an outhouse workshop with a skylight.

Glazing It Up

The order of the day is deciding whether to have a skylight installed. Now that the excitement of buying a house has died down, we’re starting think about what we can do to make it, like… nice. More natural light in the kitchen is one improvement that’s crying out to be made, and a double glazed skylight unit seems like the best way to do this.

Next in line after that is replacing the coloured glass splashback in the kitchen. It’s got a big old crack in it, but in all honesty, our main issue with it is the colour Really, who thought that was a good idea? Last on the trifecta of reno jobs on our list is swapping out the heavy wooden posts supporting the handrail on the staircase for something visually lighter. Glass balustrade installers in Melbourne, you’re on my radar.

I just realised that all three of these updates involve glass. That’s kind of convenient, actually. I’d had it in my mind that we’d have to recruit a bunch of different service providers, but a good glazier should be able to sort us out. Who’s good for residential glazing and glass replacement, Melbourne? Help a renovation noob out.

Actually, this is making me think of even more things to be done. The shower screen in the guest bathroom looks, frankly, kind of dangerous. My sister will hate that. I’m assuming it’s possible to switch out a semi-frameless shower screen for a custom replacement – A-class 10mm toughened safety glass, of course, for the benefit of sis’s peace of mind. While I’m on the subject, it occurs to me that I could swap the chrome hinges for gold ones. I know that sis will hate them, but if I’m making a concession for her, I get to have some fun at her expense as well (that’s just the way it works).

Ah, the joys of owning a house. I’m not sure what my bank balance will have to say about all this, but I can compile a wish list all the same.